Monday, October 20, 2008

What is a "gaylord"?

I was working at this job recently and they asked me to put something in a "gaylord." I walked off the job before I could figure out what it was, but now I'm curious!
--Gaylord Perry

It is likely they didn't know that your name was "Gaylord" and no offense was intended, but rather just an unlucky break on your part. A "gaylord" is a gaylord cardboard box, roughly four feet by a little over three feet. They are often used in warehouses, for shipping, and their size is such that they fit neatly on a wooden pallet. They are named so because they were first manufactured by the Gaylord Container Company in Gaylord, Michigan, which happens to be a cute little town, worth visiting, and the last outpost of civilization before the Upper Peninsula, when driving north.

Most likely your employer meant no offense at referring to the box by using your name, as chances are he/she wasn’t aware of it. But quitting was probably a good decision, as the obvious tendency to use unnecessary jargon is an indication of insecurity which often contributes to an unpleasant work environment.

Monday, October 13, 2008

What exactly is grenadine?

Red Leary asked "What exactly is grenadine?"

Red, it's interesting that that is your name, if it really is, because the answer to your question is most precisely identical to your first name!

Though to be less precise while elaborating more, grenadine is a syrup most commonly used for mixing cocktails. (Though be very clear on this one absolute rule of all things: the word grenadine and the word martini must never, ever, for any reason whatsoever come within a thousand miles of each other!) It may also be used as a fairly effective substitute for fake blood in situations where clean-up isn't too much of an issue.

The interesting thing about grenadine is that it, while flavored, is not ever used so much for its flavor as for its color. It has been said, even, that grenadine's "flavor" is "red."

There are also several camps that insist that the flavor of grenadine is modeled after the taste of human feces. This is much like the claim that the smell of Calvin Klein CK1 fragrance is modeled after the smell of human feces. Except in the case of grenadine, the testing of this thesis is difficult as it would be necessary to taste-test the syrup in question along with the feces in question, and a sufficient number of unbiased tasters has as of yet been too difficult of assemble with the limited funding available for such a project.