Can I Turn Off the Beeping on My Microwave?

"Is there any way to turn that annoying beeping off when a microwave is finished?"
--Anonymous

No, there is not. But here's what I do. I put something in the microwave and turn it on a specific amount of time. Then I go do something else and ignore it. But then in the last few seconds before the timer ends and the microwave makes that annoying, maddening beeping, I swoop back in and turn it off, often with just a second to spare. This at least puts some excitement into it. I like to pretend I'm James Bond and I'm racing against the clock to disarm a nuclear device. When I turn it off, then—especially if there is on one second to spare!—I like to say, "Bond. James Bond."